Choices to Avoid When Considering Someone to Marry

Samson was foolish in his choice of women. Most of his stories revolve around the immoral women he chased after. Godliness wasn’t very high on his list of prerequisites. Actually, it wasn’t on the list at all!

First, there was a young pagan woman Samson loved for the sole reason that she was physically attractive. He literally said to his parents, “Get her for me, for she looks good to me” (Jgs. 14:3). A few verses later the text says, “So he went down and talked to the woman; and she looked good to Samson” (Jgs. 14:7).

As soon as they got married, problems started happening. Basically, they had a bad disagreement and Samson deserted her, so she got married to Samson’s friend. Ouch!

The second woman the text tells us about was a prostitute. “Now Samson went to Gaza and saw a harlot there, and went in to her” (Jgs. 16:1). Need I say more?

The third woman was Delilah. She famously betrayed Samson by having his head shaved while he slept so she could make a quick buck. As a result, he lost all his strength, and the Philistines captured him, put his eyes out, and made him a slave.

What can we learn from all this? One lesson is that we should be careful whom we choose to court or marry. Making a poor choice in this area can result in dire consequences. Here are three horrible choices to avoid based on Samson’s bad example:

1. Don’t choose someone just for their looks.

That’s apparently all Samson cared about, at least with the Philistine woman. Some Christians are sadly just as superficial as Samson was. They want someone who looks good, whether that person loves the Lord or not. Marrying someone for that singular reason could ruin your life.

2. Don’t even consider someone who has no regard for the sanctity of marriage. 

The second and third women in Samson’s life believed marriage was totally optional in order to have intimacy. If you’re courting someone like that, you’re playing with fire. And we all know what happens when you play with fire. Eventually you get burnt!

3. Don’t marry someone who doesn’t love you the same way. 

Samson loved Delilah (Jgs. 16:4), but she loved money. In her mind, Samson was totally expendable. If you’re courting a person who doesn’t reciprocate the feelings of love you have for them, or who is willing to habitually mistreat you, do not allow that relationship to continue unless the other person makes a serious change.

Choosing a spouse is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Avoid the choices Samson made. Choose someone who fears the Lord. “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Prov. 31:30).

What other choices do you think people should avoid when choosing a spouse?


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Published by

Adam Willingham

I'm a regular guy and a Christian who happens to preach full-time. I'm also a husband and a father of three. And a martial artist.

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